From “No” to “Yes in Six Easy Weeks”

I am retiring after almost 37 years in Public Health. May 31, 2011 will be my last day at this job. I’m not going to travel or do a “honey-do” list or even take another job. God has privileged me to do some ministry and then rewarded me with some teaching opportunities. That’s the bottom line, but how did He get me here?

Before Mardi Gras, had you asked me when I was going to retire, I would have told you honestly that I didn’t know, sometime, but not now. In other words, I had no plans to retire, though I have planned for retirement. But God began to work – to do God-sized things in me, and for me when I do something God-like it is always God that does it, because I assure you that I not capable of doing such things on my own. In fact, I am a coward, afraid of change and afraid to take “leaps of faith.”

Mardi Gras came and went and Ash Wednesday came ushering in the Season of Lent. Now, I’m a Baptist (this is written under the by-line of “John the Baptist” after all.) Baptists don’t celebrate lent. However, the Sunday after Mardi Gras, my Pastor, Alan Cross (HTTP//:Downshoredrift.typepad.com/) preached a sermon in which he challenged us to give up something for Lent. When we missed what we had given up, we were to think not of what we missed, but rather, what God had given us and we were to give thanks for those things.

“Fine,” I thought, sarcastically, “I’ll give up watermelon.” That’s what I always give up for Lent (it’s out of season and besides that, it gives me indigestion.) In other words, I completely and utterly blew this off. But God didn’t.

Along about this time, Pastor Alan had been leading us in a Bible study on Wednesday nights in which we are studying the Christian life, what it really is and how it plays out – how you actually do it. We had just read a chapter on contemplative prayer in which one reads a small portion of scripture, bathing it in prayer and then concentrating on the words asking God to speak through that small passage to reveal something of Himself, His purposes, or His ways to us. I had first rebelled at that idea also, as I have been a daily Bible reader for a long time and I know how to do this. Nevertheless, God lead me to try it – so I did.

I began to cut down the morning Bible reading to a simple devotional thought as I sat in the Lotus Yoga position on my kitchen floor. Then I would read and pray over the passage asking God to speak to me through it –speak not in a “burning bush” experience like Moses, but in the “still small voice” like Elijah heard. Shortly after adopting this practice, one morning I read over a passage several times and prayed that prayer. My practice then is to loosen up and go for a walk continuing in the spirit of prayer, usually fighting thoughts of what I’ll do today.

On this particular day, I was then walking and God spoke to me in the casual way that He sometimes does as though he were walking along side me –as He actually is. In fact, my name for God is “Jehovah Nike,” the God who is personal enough to walk beside me, yet is great enough to “Just do It.” God said, “so, what are you giving up for Lent?” I said, “watermelon, what do I usually give up for Lent? You know I don’t give up stuff for Lent.” God said, “No, really, what are you giving up for Lent?” I replied, “You’re serious about this aren’t You?” He nodded, “Yes.”

I walked a little further and said, “OK, if I were to give up something for Lent, what would you want it to be?” He said, “Well, what’s the most precious thing in the world to you?” I immediately started feeling sick at my stomach, because the first thing that immediately sprang into my mind was my job at Public Health, where I am General Counsel – not my family, not my church, not anything else, but my job, it is who I am, my identity, my escape – my life. I said to God, timidly, “My job.” “OK,” he said, “that’s what I want you to give up.” I thought about that some and then began to argue with Him. This argument lasted for several blocks. God began to remind me what all He had done for me especially over the last 2 and a half years since I fell out of my tree and cracked my head. And I began to feel that no matter what, God had a history with me of taking care of me.

So, reluctantly, I stopped in my tracks, dropped my head, gave out a long sigh and said, “OK, God, if that’s what you want, I will give it up – but You’ve got to help me. You know how important it is to me.” He said, “Yes, I know and I will help you. Look for a push and a pull. Then the conversation was over.

I mused over what He meant by the “push and the pull.” Later that week, I was reviewing some proposed legislation from the State Legislature – bad legislation. It seems that the Legislators think, at least publically, that state employees like me are the reason our state’s economy is so bad. We are in the public’s view, overpaid, over-benefitted and generally, as my Mother would say, “sorry.” The more of such legislation I read and the more political rhetoric I heard, the more I began to sour on state service – not on my Department, the friends with whom I work or the work we do, which I still think is of utmost importance – but on state service. Sour – like an already-sucked lemon.

The coup-de-gras was when of my lawyers, Greg, who works six or seven days a week during the legislative session, told me that one of the freshman legislators had remarked to him, “What do you know, you’re just a bureaucrat.” I was heart-sick for Greg. I went back to my desk and said to myself, “You know, I could leave this job.” Then I heard the voice of God say, “That’s the push.”

The pull came soon. That next Thursday night, we had a business meeting at church. Pastor Alan remarked that he had several ideas he’d like to implement and would like to hire an associate pastor, but that we needed to shelve the idea for the time being because we did not have the funds to take on additional staff. I began to wonder, “is this what God is calling me to do?” God said, “Why don’t you ask Alan?” So, I did.

I scheduled a lunch with Pastor Alan and told asked him, “What would you think if I retired and volunteered to be your associate pastor full-time at no cost, just expenses? Alan’s reply shocked me because I expected he’d be doing back over flips at the idea of having someone like (self-important) ME as associate pastor and for free!

But he wasn’t! He said, “Actually, John, I have someone else in mind who has the skill-set I’m looking for to fill that position.” Then he wisely said, “Why don’t you go back and pray and ask God what HE wants you to do, not what I want you to do.” Thus ended our discussion and I went back to the office feeling rejected, let down and unwanted.

After a couple of hours, God asked me, “So, are you over your pity-party or do you need a little longer to wallow in it?” I said, “No, I’m a big boy, I’m over it.” Then He said, “Good, then let’s get down to work on what I want you do. That night and by the time I finished my prayer time the next morning, God had led me to write about seven different ministries I had either done before or wanted to be involved with, the sum of which would be more than a full-time job. I wrote notes on them in my journal and shared the ideas with Pastor Alan.

He said, “John, I’ve been thinking many of the same thoughts you’ve had. Why don’t you look into some of these ideas, talk with the people who are involved and see if they can confirm that this is of God. ( I need to always remember that just because I have an idea doesn’t necessarily mean it is of God. It can be the voice of the “wild hare” that I’m hearing. So I began to talk to the people who were either involved in the ministries or who would be the subjects of them and received unanimous support for the ideas. I reported this to Pastor Alan, and I came up with three main ideas or areas of ministry.

One involves ministry with Latinos, since I speak Spanish. I don’t know how this will play out, but our church has basically a one-man ministry with them and that one man has 3 regular jobs. He welcomed me to come along, so I will.

Secondly, since I co-teach a senior adult Sunday School class and am an old music director, I have long heard that the Seniors really don’t care for our style of worship – contemporary, and they miss the old hymns. Thus, I proposed to have a day a week that I’d meet with them at church in the middle of the day, have a brief music lesson, so they will be challenged to learn, sing some standard hymns – eventually working up to hymn choral arrangements, give a brief devotional thought at the end and then have a fellowship lunch. The Seniors loved that idea.

Thirdly, I had thought of several ways to minister through education, teaching and tutoring. Alan and I discussed and he told me of a concept he’s had to take our home-school cover, Gateway Academy, which is already established and state sanctioned, and marry it with 3 days a week of on-campus instruction in various subjects taught by people who know that subject. Also, take 2 days a week after school to tutor some of the children in our neighborhood in their public school subjects. Lastly, do this in a missional format, wherein we find the funds to offer this to the children and students in our neighborhood, many of whom would otherwise be school drop-outs, at minimal cost, perhaps $100 a year plus “sweat equity” on the part of their parents, to keep them involved.

Alan asked me if I’d be willing to help put this together, to build it from the ground up. That excited and challenged me. God will have to do it, but I’m ready to let Him use me to do it. In this framework, I’m also able to do some other teaching things I wanted to do: teach music and teach some history. I’d also have to recruit the other teachers and tutors and work on funding sources. When built, we could turn it over to someone who’s been a school head-master.

Perhaps, this could also evolve into a mother’s day out ministry to our community for the same population that may have already dropped out.

Underlying all this would be my “ministry database.” I collect the contact information on every person and their family involved and follow up with them on a periodic basis to see how they are doing and ask them frequently how I can pray for them. I've long realized that follow-up is one of the major short-comings of most churches. Since this need will get too big for one person, I would recruit the Senior adults to come along side and help do this continuous follow up on an organized basis.

The cherry on the top came the next week when I stopped by at the University of Alabama Birmingham, School of Public Health (UAB) to discuss some contracts my Department has with UAB for my services. I wanted to tell them what my plans were and to assure them that I would fulfill the commitments made on behalf of the Department even without pay. Dr. Andy Rucks, with whom I spoke, was very comfortable with my commitment. I told him the rest of the story and how I had gotten to that point. Then, out of the blue, he asked me if I’d like to teach public health law at the UAB School of Public Health to graduate students. I was ecstatic at that thought and said, “yes.” He’s now working on that.

Thus you see, God has brought me from “No” to “Yes” in 6 easy weeks. All glory be to Him, the Giver of all good and perfect gifts.