Prologue to John’s 2010 Christmas Story. The real story.
Diary entry. Tuesday, 11-9-10.
Yesterday, during a deep conversation with a friend, I came face to face with a reality that I not faced before. I realized that I thought of myself poorly, I won’t describe it, it’s not worth the effort, for whatever reason in my childhood. The reason really doesn’t matter – whether it was my Mother’s domination or Grandmother’s judgmentalism or the desertion by my Father and thus, my growing up without a father. The point is that I have perceived that I am no good and evil and therefore must perform at perfection to be acceptable to someone.
That perfection does not allow for me to be human and have the same desires and make the same mistakes that other humans make. I must be either Nietzsche’s Superman or Camelot’s Lancelot’s perception of his own perfection or worse, perfect enough not to need a savior. Perhaps that is why I have such a difficult time accepting forgiveness.
My friend and I role-played. The friend played God/Jesus who asked me if I could accept His forgiveness. I said that I could not. He asked me why. I had difficulty with the answer, but it seems that my sin, my self-enemy, my “me” is just too bad to be salvaged.
In other words, God asked, “So you’re saying that your sin is so great that my grace cannot cover it?” “Yes,” I admitted. “So then what kind of a God do you believe in – one that is all powerful or one that is not powerful enough to forgive you?” If the latter is so, then He is not a God at all but a cosmic pretender and my badness is worse than His goodness.
Examine the facts. God created the Heavens and the Earth merely by speaking it – willing it - into existence. I have seen Him work in great and small things that only He could have done. I have seen Him heal the sick, raise the dead, give sight to the blind and make the lame to walk. And He has promised that if I will only trust Him, He will forgive me and wash me as white as snow.
It takes faith to accept this, but the evidence is that Grace is real and that it is greater than my sin and my imagined sin. Shall I crucify Christ again by refusing his grace-gift? What a dangerous course that would be and what a foolhardy course as against the great weight of the evidence.
Then tonight, I thought I would read Chapter 2 in Boa’s book.(1) It is filled with spiritual affirmations about not my goodness but my personhood and my right standing with God not based on my own merit but based on His love and amazing grace.
Then I thought of the song, “Amazing Grace” and felt how John Newton must have felt and how he must have shed tears when he penned the lines, “amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me/ I once was lost but now am found/ Was blind but now I see.”
And then, I had a vision from God, the role-played God, but God. In the vision, I was walking with my Father by a beautiful lake. He had on a plaid shirt, a ball cap and hiking boots. He had a pipe but I saw no smoke. I was once again a little boy about seven or eight years old and he had his arms around me and I felt more loved and secure than I have ever felt before. We talked and he showed me many things in nature and I looked on with wonderment.
But then I saw a snake and the snake struck at us and my Father reached out and caught it. The snake wrapped itself around him and they rolled around and fought on the ground. It was a gory and bloody battle to the death.
I saw the snake grow large and turn into a black and gold dragon that was huge. My Father held firmly and tightly around the snake’s neck until he broke its back with a snap. And then it was over.
My Father lay mortally wounded on the ground and I went to him. He reached out to me and I felt secure again. He said, “Don’t be afraid, I’ll always be with you and protect you. Nothing can ever harm you as long as you stay close to me.” Then he smiled and lay back down. As he did, I saw his spirit rise from him, a benevolent spirit which came to me and held me just as my Father had done.
Again, we walked and talked and enjoyed each other. He said, “We’ll have many places to go and many hills to climb, that’s why I have on hiking boots, but I’ll guide you and uphold you, you need never be afraid.” And we walked on through the woods and up hills.
We came to a very high mountain, as I have seen in Northern India in the Himalayas and we looked down at the valley below. He said, “All this is yours because all of it is mine, but more importantly, all the people there are yours, love them as I have loved you.”
Then we climbed some stairs through stone and masonry arches that appeared very old and perhaps were a ruin. At the top, he said, “I’ve got to go now, but I’ll always be with you. I love you. You are my son. Don’t be afraid.” And then he disappeared.
I stood there and looked and thought how precious he was to me and how he had saved me from the deadly dragon-snake at the cost of his own life. Yet, he lives on in me because I AM his son, his heir – the object of his affection. With such a blessing, how can refuse his grace gift?
Then I seemed not to remember my sin. All I remember is him and how his love made me feel. And all was quiet.
“Thank you, God, for this vision, this affirmation of who you are and who I am. I now know your love and power. Surely it is sufficient to cover my deepest woe. I trust You – I know so. AMEN.”
_________________________________
(1)Conformed to His Image, by Kenneth Boa. Zondervan Press, 2001.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
“The Christmas Tree – Return to Cheaha Mountain” - Annotated Version
“The Christmas Tree – 1. Return to Cheaha Mountain”
John’s 30th 2. Annual Christmas Poem
By John R. Wible, December 25, 2010
1957, a simpler time: Sputnik had not yet flown, no one possessed a cell phone or IPad and Elvis had just hit the big time; And Val’s biggest worry was making an “A” on next week’s spelling test right before the Christmas holidays. Val almost always made “A’s” in spelling and in fact in most all his second grade subjects. It seemed to be an expectation, a “must do.” Failure was not an option and making less than an “A” was a failure. If Val failed, he would be left alone he felt - alone like he felt when his mother deserted him in the ladies lingerie section of Loveman’s; or alone like the time the school bus left him because he was seconds late; or alone like he felt when he found no one at the church and believed that the Rapture of the Church had come and he had been left behind. Perhaps, he felt like a failure and alone because his classmates ostracized him just because he was who he was. Val never forgot those feelings of failure and “aloneness,” and Val did not like to be left alone.
On the other hand, above all other people, Val loved and idolized his father, 3. Cecil. Cecil never seemed to place expectations on Val and never seemed to show disappointment when Val didn’t live up to the expectations that were placed on him.
But all of that was left behind today, because today was special day. 4. Val and Cecil were going up beautiful Mount Cheaha, as they had done for as long as Val could remember, to get the family Christmas tree. They drove the windy gravel road until it became a narrow dirt road and finally ended in a clearing, an island of sunlight amidst the hovering sassafras 5. , hawthorn, and river birch and of course, pine trees at the opening of a great wood. In that wood, somewhere Val knew was “their” Christmas tree.
This was a special day of the year for Val, a gift, if you will, from Cecil to him – not so much the gift of the Christmas tree or of the presents that would be placed under the Christmas tree, but the gift of the time that Cecil spent with Val in this shared enterprise. The day always made Val feel “special;” And Val needed to feel “special.”
They parked the black over white 6. Bel Air with black wall tires, no air conditioner and no radio; got a 7. bow saw and some ropes in a gunny sack out of the trunk; and began their tireless trek into the wild and wondrous wood. Cecil told Val, “Be careful where you are walking, the snakes 8. are still crawling even at this elevation of the mountain.”
The very mention of snakes raised the hair on the back of Val’s neck, for more than being left alone, he feared snakes. But as they walked deeper and deeper 9. into the wood, climbing ever higher and higher, Val became easier and the “snake warning” became less of a sting to his young mind.
Travelling now deeply into the wood, they searched for the “perfect” tree and in a sunlit clearing, they saw it, the most beautiful Virginia pine tree 10. that Val had ever seen. Cecil opened the gunny sack carrying the ropes and 11. bow saw, got out the saw and began to first clear from around its base of the underbrush and then began to cut the tree. “Schree-scraw, schree-scraw, schree-scraw,” went the saw making the familiar cutting noise that was one of the pleasing sounds of the adventure to which Val always looked forward until “crack, thwish, thud,” it sounded as it toppled to the straw-covered 12. mat, the floor of the wood.
“Hand me the rope and we’ll tie it on ‘er and pull ‘er out,” ordered Cecil to Val as the first and most exciting part of the job was now complete. But, as Val reached his hand into the sack to retrieve the rope 13., Cecil suddenly spoke in an ominous and entirely different tone of voice – loud and direct - calm, yet with a sense of urgency. “Don’t move.” Val let loose of the sack and turned his head toward Cecil and said, “What, Daddy?” 14. And at that instant, a coiled 15. rattlesnake moved toward Val.
Time moved in slow motion 16. for Val as he saw with one eye the snake flying straight as an arrow 17. toward him and with the other, Cecil stretching out between Val and the snake. In mid-air, 18. Cecil caught the snake by the neck and they both fell to the straw covered mat. The snake began to coil itself around Cecil, striking him again and again and again. 19.
Time now stopped, rational thought ended and fantasy took flight for Val. In his seven-year olds mind’s eye, he saw Cecil and the snake rolling around on the ground locked in mortal combat which must have lasted for hours in this time-frozen state of mind. 20. As Val seemed to gain the upper hand with the snake, the creature began to grow larger and larger until it became a huge black dragon 21. with gold tipped wings 22. and an arrow shaped tail. 23.
Undaunted, Cecil maintained his death grip about the reptile’s neck and squeezed until with a “crack,” the neck was broken. In Val’s mind, it was as though the dragon deflated and became snaked-sized again 24. and lay lifeless upon the mat. Cecil slumped beside it – himself mortally wounded.25.
A sudden wave of guilt passed over Val as he realized that his father was mortally wounded because Val had not followed his instruction. Val had failed once again and this time his failure had killed his father. Cecil looked up at Val and painfully yet with certainty, put his arm around his shaken son. “Daddy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t do what you said,” cried Val with tears of fear and remorse. “I forgive you, son, never think of it again,” 26. said Cecil in a tone of assurance that Val had never heard quite so definitely before. As Cecil held Val in his arms, Val felt safe and secure once again. Cecil’s voice grew more hushed. “Don’t be afraid, son, I’ll always be with you 27. and I’ll always protect you. Nothing can ever harm you if you stay close to me.” And then he smiled lovingly and lay back onto the tree upon which he had fallen. 28.
As he lay back on the tree, in Val’s mind’s eye, he say Cecil’s spirit 29. rise from him, a benevolent spirit which came over to him and held him in his arms just the way Cecil had done. 30. And Cecil’s spirit said, “Come with me, I want to show you something.” So Val un-kneeled and walked with Cecil’s spirit just as he had walked with Cecil before. And he felt the same warmth and love that he had always felt. The Spirit said, “Son, we will have many rough places to go and hills and mountains to climb but I will guide you and uphold you and you will never need to be afraid or feel guilty 31. or alone.”
They walked on through the wood climbing ever higher and higher. 32. Eventually, they descended slightly to Pulpit Rock. 33. Val looked down at the verdant valley below. The Spirit said as he 34. pointed, “All of this valley is yours because it is mine and you are my son and heir. But more importantly, all of the people in the valley are your people. Love them as I love you.” 35.
Beside Pulpit rock is the ruin of an old church. 36. They climbed the still remaining great stone and masonry steps through medieval-looking arches 37. – all which remained of what was once a great pinhoti 38. cathedral. The ceiling now was the blinding blue canopy of the late fall sky and the floor, the vast valley below.39. This was the precipice, the point of no return, the end … perhaps. The Spirit said, “I’ve got to go now, but I will always be with you and I will always love you, my son. Never be afraid.” Then the Spirit disappeared. 40.
Val stood and took in the scene for a long time for there was a lot to take in and on many different, but related levels. His thoughts turned to how once again his failure has caused him to be left alone. However, his attention was diverted by a flight of sparrows 41. beginning to search for their evening bites, 42. and he was reminded of the words of the old song, “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.” Then following along behind the sparrows, he saw forever circling the red-tailed hawk and he remembered Cecil’s words, “I forgive you.” In that moment, Val felt both forgiven and unforsaken – no longer alone.
As the silky shadows of evening began to rise up the craggy crest of the Great Mountain, Val knew it was time to go. Retracing his steps, Val began his descent to find Cecil’s body, still lying upon the tree of sacrifice, his blood still dripping on its branches like Crimson-coloured ornaments. 43. He wondered what he would do with that body. Back through the arches, back by Pulpit Rock, down the wooded path Cecil trudged, tiredness now beginning to set in on his little frame. Finally he reached the clearing where Cecil’s body had fallen onto the Christmas tree. But hurrying over to the site, he discovered that the body was no longer there.44. He looked around for signs of where someone else may have taken the body ,45. but finding none, he realized that somehow, his Heavenly Father had taken care of Cecil as Cecil had promised to take care of Val.
What he did see however, was some of Cecil’s still-present blood hanging from the myriad of branches of the Christmas tree like those Crimson-coloured ornaments that he had imagined at the top of the mountain. “How fitting,” he thought, “that Cecil, who gave his life for me left some of his blood to remember him by and left me this Christmas tree upon which he once had lain.” It was not the Christmas tree that was the gift to him but what the blood-formed ornaments meant that was the Christmas gift to Val.
Though now it is no longer 1957 and life and circumstances have grown much more complex, man has walked upon the face of the moon and passed into history, everyone has a cell phone or an IPad and Elvis has left the building years ago, Val still remembers that fateful Christmas in 1957 when he learned that his failures and shortcomings, both real and imagined, were forgiven and that he would never again be alone.
Now, I can’t think of a better Christmas gift . . . can you?
. . .
Here’s wishing you a happy and forgiven Christmas.
John R. Wible
__________________________________________________
Notes:
1. There are two “returns” here, the one mentioned in the story and our second visit to Mount Cheaha in these Christmas stories. See “The Gift of Who I am” by John R. Wible, December 25, 2007.
2. If you saw last year’s story, you will note the somewhere the numbering got off track. 30th is correct.
3. Actually, I was raised without a father. “Cecil,” named for a friend of my grandfather’s was my imaginary playmate.
4. This scene came to me as a sort of vision. I have dramatized the vision.
5. These trees are indigenous to Mount Cheaha.
6. The car in question was my mother’s. It also had rubber floor mats and a 140 cu. In engine. I’m not sure it would really pull Mount Cheaha.
7. The bow saw was the tool I was using when I fell off the ladder two years ago.
8. Like Indiana Jones, I am afraid of snakes.
9. And deeper and deeper into the vision.
10. Virginia Pines are abundant at the upper elevations of Mt. Cheaha.
11. Bow Saw – I was using a bow saw when I fell off the tree two years ago. See my post on the “Fall Testimony” at my blog:.
12. The floor of the wood is referred to as a mat, because later we’ll see the forest floor turn into a wrestling mat.
13. In certain Christian denominations, the faithful stick their hand into a box or sack containing rattlesnakes to prove their devotion to and faith in God. I do not condone this practice.
14. This is a picture of our frequent response to God. He gives us a clear and direct order and rather than just doing it, we question Him about it – here with fatal consequences. Because Val questioned, he should have been struck by the snake and killed.
15. Rattlesnake – The snake represents Satan as in Genesis 2 and 3. The snake also represents all the compiled evil that Val finds in his own soul. Eph.. 6:12.
16. The story now takes on a dream-like quality.
17. “Straight as an arrow-“ Ephesians 6:16 speaks of Satan shooting “flaming arrows” at us. Here, the snake is the embodiment of all the arrows in one.
18. Cecil now becomes a type of Christ figure, suspended in mid-air as Christ was suspended between Heaven and Earth at His crucifixion. “Never did the obscene come so close to the holy as it did on Calvary. Never did the good in the world so intertwine with the bad as it did on the cross. Never did what is right involve itself so intimately with what is wrong, as it did when Jesus was suspended between heaven and earth.” – Max Lucado.
19. “The Battle is the Lord’s” – 1 Sam. 17:47; 2 Chron. 20:18.
Actually, the event is over in a matter of seconds.
20. Dragon – In Revelation 12 and 13, Satan is pictured as a dragon
21. Traditionally, especially in sculpture, angels are pictured with gold-tipped wings. This is a vestige of the time when Satan was an Archangel.
22. See note 17.
23. Great problems, when confronted show themselves as petty things when faced with faith.
24. Christ died once for all. Heb. 9:28; 1 Pet. 3:18.
25. “As Psalm 103:12 states, ‘As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.’ East and west never meet. If you go west you keep going west. But if you go north and get to the top of the earth and keep going in the same direction, you will eventually go south. So the forgiveness given by Christ is forever and your sin no longer exists. His forgiveness is permanent, powerful and sin-destroying forever. Don’t carry the unnecessary weight of sins that are covered by the blood.” Jesus is Lord, Daily Commentaries. Commentary on Heb. 9:11-15.
26. “Lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world.” Matt. 28:19-20.
27. Likewise, Jesus died upon a tree, the Cross. Deut. 21:23.
28. A picture of the Holy Spirit.
29. Since Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one in the same person as part of the Godhead with the Father, the presence is the same.
30. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor. 5:21.
31. Toward Heaven.
32. To those who have been to the site, Pulpit Rock takes a slight descent as it outcrops.
The Spirit is a person not an inanimate object.
33. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34,35.
34. There is the ruin of an old building by Pulpit Rock, perhaps it was a church, perhaps not.
35. The arches are actually Pinhoti Trail Markers.
36. Pinhoti is Creek Indian for "Turkey Home." So it is perhaps not surprising that visitors usually see wild turkey on the Pinhoti trail that runs up Mount Cheaha.
37. With guilt gone, we are no longer in the box that it builds for us and we can see the blue sky and the verdant valley.
38. At this point, the story reaches its apex. It is the moment in which Val “gets it.” He is forgiven and free.
39. “His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me,” from the song of the same name. "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" is a Gospel hymn. Although today it is a staple of African-American worship services, the song was originally written in 1905 by two white songwriters, lyricist Civilla D. Martin and composer Charles H. Gabriel. The song is most associated with actress-singer Ethel Waters who used the title for her autobiography.
40. Bites – a line from another “sparrow” song, “The Sparrow” by Charles Billingsley, performed frequently by my daughter, Amy Higginbotham.
41. “Dark is the stain that we cannot hide/what can avail to wash it away? Look there is flowing a Crimson Tide . . .” “Grace Greater than Our Sin” by Julia Johnson and Daniel Towner.
42. Just as the women found Jesus’ body was no longer there, Matt. 28:5-6; Mk. 16:6; Lk. 24:5; and Jn. 20:5-7.
43. Jn. 20:2.
John’s 30th 2. Annual Christmas Poem
By John R. Wible, December 25, 2010
1957, a simpler time: Sputnik had not yet flown, no one possessed a cell phone or IPad and Elvis had just hit the big time; And Val’s biggest worry was making an “A” on next week’s spelling test right before the Christmas holidays. Val almost always made “A’s” in spelling and in fact in most all his second grade subjects. It seemed to be an expectation, a “must do.” Failure was not an option and making less than an “A” was a failure. If Val failed, he would be left alone he felt - alone like he felt when his mother deserted him in the ladies lingerie section of Loveman’s; or alone like the time the school bus left him because he was seconds late; or alone like he felt when he found no one at the church and believed that the Rapture of the Church had come and he had been left behind. Perhaps, he felt like a failure and alone because his classmates ostracized him just because he was who he was. Val never forgot those feelings of failure and “aloneness,” and Val did not like to be left alone.
On the other hand, above all other people, Val loved and idolized his father, 3. Cecil. Cecil never seemed to place expectations on Val and never seemed to show disappointment when Val didn’t live up to the expectations that were placed on him.
But all of that was left behind today, because today was special day. 4. Val and Cecil were going up beautiful Mount Cheaha, as they had done for as long as Val could remember, to get the family Christmas tree. They drove the windy gravel road until it became a narrow dirt road and finally ended in a clearing, an island of sunlight amidst the hovering sassafras 5. , hawthorn, and river birch and of course, pine trees at the opening of a great wood. In that wood, somewhere Val knew was “their” Christmas tree.
This was a special day of the year for Val, a gift, if you will, from Cecil to him – not so much the gift of the Christmas tree or of the presents that would be placed under the Christmas tree, but the gift of the time that Cecil spent with Val in this shared enterprise. The day always made Val feel “special;” And Val needed to feel “special.”
They parked the black over white 6. Bel Air with black wall tires, no air conditioner and no radio; got a 7. bow saw and some ropes in a gunny sack out of the trunk; and began their tireless trek into the wild and wondrous wood. Cecil told Val, “Be careful where you are walking, the snakes 8. are still crawling even at this elevation of the mountain.”
The very mention of snakes raised the hair on the back of Val’s neck, for more than being left alone, he feared snakes. But as they walked deeper and deeper 9. into the wood, climbing ever higher and higher, Val became easier and the “snake warning” became less of a sting to his young mind.
Travelling now deeply into the wood, they searched for the “perfect” tree and in a sunlit clearing, they saw it, the most beautiful Virginia pine tree 10. that Val had ever seen. Cecil opened the gunny sack carrying the ropes and 11. bow saw, got out the saw and began to first clear from around its base of the underbrush and then began to cut the tree. “Schree-scraw, schree-scraw, schree-scraw,” went the saw making the familiar cutting noise that was one of the pleasing sounds of the adventure to which Val always looked forward until “crack, thwish, thud,” it sounded as it toppled to the straw-covered 12. mat, the floor of the wood.
“Hand me the rope and we’ll tie it on ‘er and pull ‘er out,” ordered Cecil to Val as the first and most exciting part of the job was now complete. But, as Val reached his hand into the sack to retrieve the rope 13., Cecil suddenly spoke in an ominous and entirely different tone of voice – loud and direct - calm, yet with a sense of urgency. “Don’t move.” Val let loose of the sack and turned his head toward Cecil and said, “What, Daddy?” 14. And at that instant, a coiled 15. rattlesnake moved toward Val.
Time moved in slow motion 16. for Val as he saw with one eye the snake flying straight as an arrow 17. toward him and with the other, Cecil stretching out between Val and the snake. In mid-air, 18. Cecil caught the snake by the neck and they both fell to the straw covered mat. The snake began to coil itself around Cecil, striking him again and again and again. 19.
Time now stopped, rational thought ended and fantasy took flight for Val. In his seven-year olds mind’s eye, he saw Cecil and the snake rolling around on the ground locked in mortal combat which must have lasted for hours in this time-frozen state of mind. 20. As Val seemed to gain the upper hand with the snake, the creature began to grow larger and larger until it became a huge black dragon 21. with gold tipped wings 22. and an arrow shaped tail. 23.
Undaunted, Cecil maintained his death grip about the reptile’s neck and squeezed until with a “crack,” the neck was broken. In Val’s mind, it was as though the dragon deflated and became snaked-sized again 24. and lay lifeless upon the mat. Cecil slumped beside it – himself mortally wounded.25.
A sudden wave of guilt passed over Val as he realized that his father was mortally wounded because Val had not followed his instruction. Val had failed once again and this time his failure had killed his father. Cecil looked up at Val and painfully yet with certainty, put his arm around his shaken son. “Daddy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t do what you said,” cried Val with tears of fear and remorse. “I forgive you, son, never think of it again,” 26. said Cecil in a tone of assurance that Val had never heard quite so definitely before. As Cecil held Val in his arms, Val felt safe and secure once again. Cecil’s voice grew more hushed. “Don’t be afraid, son, I’ll always be with you 27. and I’ll always protect you. Nothing can ever harm you if you stay close to me.” And then he smiled lovingly and lay back onto the tree upon which he had fallen. 28.
As he lay back on the tree, in Val’s mind’s eye, he say Cecil’s spirit 29. rise from him, a benevolent spirit which came over to him and held him in his arms just the way Cecil had done. 30. And Cecil’s spirit said, “Come with me, I want to show you something.” So Val un-kneeled and walked with Cecil’s spirit just as he had walked with Cecil before. And he felt the same warmth and love that he had always felt. The Spirit said, “Son, we will have many rough places to go and hills and mountains to climb but I will guide you and uphold you and you will never need to be afraid or feel guilty 31. or alone.”
They walked on through the wood climbing ever higher and higher. 32. Eventually, they descended slightly to Pulpit Rock. 33. Val looked down at the verdant valley below. The Spirit said as he 34. pointed, “All of this valley is yours because it is mine and you are my son and heir. But more importantly, all of the people in the valley are your people. Love them as I love you.” 35.
Beside Pulpit rock is the ruin of an old church. 36. They climbed the still remaining great stone and masonry steps through medieval-looking arches 37. – all which remained of what was once a great pinhoti 38. cathedral. The ceiling now was the blinding blue canopy of the late fall sky and the floor, the vast valley below.39. This was the precipice, the point of no return, the end … perhaps. The Spirit said, “I’ve got to go now, but I will always be with you and I will always love you, my son. Never be afraid.” Then the Spirit disappeared. 40.
Val stood and took in the scene for a long time for there was a lot to take in and on many different, but related levels. His thoughts turned to how once again his failure has caused him to be left alone. However, his attention was diverted by a flight of sparrows 41. beginning to search for their evening bites, 42. and he was reminded of the words of the old song, “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.” Then following along behind the sparrows, he saw forever circling the red-tailed hawk and he remembered Cecil’s words, “I forgive you.” In that moment, Val felt both forgiven and unforsaken – no longer alone.
As the silky shadows of evening began to rise up the craggy crest of the Great Mountain, Val knew it was time to go. Retracing his steps, Val began his descent to find Cecil’s body, still lying upon the tree of sacrifice, his blood still dripping on its branches like Crimson-coloured ornaments. 43. He wondered what he would do with that body. Back through the arches, back by Pulpit Rock, down the wooded path Cecil trudged, tiredness now beginning to set in on his little frame. Finally he reached the clearing where Cecil’s body had fallen onto the Christmas tree. But hurrying over to the site, he discovered that the body was no longer there.44. He looked around for signs of where someone else may have taken the body ,45. but finding none, he realized that somehow, his Heavenly Father had taken care of Cecil as Cecil had promised to take care of Val.
What he did see however, was some of Cecil’s still-present blood hanging from the myriad of branches of the Christmas tree like those Crimson-coloured ornaments that he had imagined at the top of the mountain. “How fitting,” he thought, “that Cecil, who gave his life for me left some of his blood to remember him by and left me this Christmas tree upon which he once had lain.” It was not the Christmas tree that was the gift to him but what the blood-formed ornaments meant that was the Christmas gift to Val.
Though now it is no longer 1957 and life and circumstances have grown much more complex, man has walked upon the face of the moon and passed into history, everyone has a cell phone or an IPad and Elvis has left the building years ago, Val still remembers that fateful Christmas in 1957 when he learned that his failures and shortcomings, both real and imagined, were forgiven and that he would never again be alone.
Now, I can’t think of a better Christmas gift . . . can you?
. . .
Here’s wishing you a happy and forgiven Christmas.
John R. Wible
__________________________________________________
Notes:
1. There are two “returns” here, the one mentioned in the story and our second visit to Mount Cheaha in these Christmas stories. See “The Gift of Who I am” by John R. Wible, December 25, 2007.
2. If you saw last year’s story, you will note the somewhere the numbering got off track. 30th is correct.
3. Actually, I was raised without a father. “Cecil,” named for a friend of my grandfather’s was my imaginary playmate.
4. This scene came to me as a sort of vision. I have dramatized the vision.
5. These trees are indigenous to Mount Cheaha.
6. The car in question was my mother’s. It also had rubber floor mats and a 140 cu. In engine. I’m not sure it would really pull Mount Cheaha.
7. The bow saw was the tool I was using when I fell off the ladder two years ago.
8. Like Indiana Jones, I am afraid of snakes.
9. And deeper and deeper into the vision.
10. Virginia Pines are abundant at the upper elevations of Mt. Cheaha.
11. Bow Saw – I was using a bow saw when I fell off the tree two years ago. See my post on the “Fall Testimony” at my blog:
12. The floor of the wood is referred to as a mat, because later we’ll see the forest floor turn into a wrestling mat.
13. In certain Christian denominations, the faithful stick their hand into a box or sack containing rattlesnakes to prove their devotion to and faith in God. I do not condone this practice.
14. This is a picture of our frequent response to God. He gives us a clear and direct order and rather than just doing it, we question Him about it – here with fatal consequences. Because Val questioned, he should have been struck by the snake and killed.
15. Rattlesnake – The snake represents Satan as in Genesis 2 and 3. The snake also represents all the compiled evil that Val finds in his own soul. Eph.. 6:12.
16. The story now takes on a dream-like quality.
17. “Straight as an arrow-“ Ephesians 6:16 speaks of Satan shooting “flaming arrows” at us. Here, the snake is the embodiment of all the arrows in one.
18. Cecil now becomes a type of Christ figure, suspended in mid-air as Christ was suspended between Heaven and Earth at His crucifixion. “Never did the obscene come so close to the holy as it did on Calvary. Never did the good in the world so intertwine with the bad as it did on the cross. Never did what is right involve itself so intimately with what is wrong, as it did when Jesus was suspended between heaven and earth.” – Max Lucado.
19. “The Battle is the Lord’s” – 1 Sam. 17:47; 2 Chron. 20:18.
Actually, the event is over in a matter of seconds.
20. Dragon – In Revelation 12 and 13, Satan is pictured as a dragon
21. Traditionally, especially in sculpture, angels are pictured with gold-tipped wings. This is a vestige of the time when Satan was an Archangel.
22. See note 17.
23. Great problems, when confronted show themselves as petty things when faced with faith.
24. Christ died once for all. Heb. 9:28; 1 Pet. 3:18.
25. “As Psalm 103:12 states, ‘As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.’ East and west never meet. If you go west you keep going west. But if you go north and get to the top of the earth and keep going in the same direction, you will eventually go south. So the forgiveness given by Christ is forever and your sin no longer exists. His forgiveness is permanent, powerful and sin-destroying forever. Don’t carry the unnecessary weight of sins that are covered by the blood.” Jesus is Lord, Daily Commentaries. Commentary on Heb. 9:11-15.
26. “Lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world.” Matt. 28:19-20.
27. Likewise, Jesus died upon a tree, the Cross. Deut. 21:23.
28. A picture of the Holy Spirit.
29. Since Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one in the same person as part of the Godhead with the Father, the presence is the same.
30. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor. 5:21.
31. Toward Heaven.
32. To those who have been to the site, Pulpit Rock takes a slight descent as it outcrops.
The Spirit is a person not an inanimate object.
33. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34,35.
34. There is the ruin of an old building by Pulpit Rock, perhaps it was a church, perhaps not.
35. The arches are actually Pinhoti Trail Markers.
36. Pinhoti is Creek Indian for "Turkey Home." So it is perhaps not surprising that visitors usually see wild turkey on the Pinhoti trail that runs up Mount Cheaha.
37. With guilt gone, we are no longer in the box that it builds for us and we can see the blue sky and the verdant valley.
38. At this point, the story reaches its apex. It is the moment in which Val “gets it.” He is forgiven and free.
39. “His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me,” from the song of the same name. "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" is a Gospel hymn. Although today it is a staple of African-American worship services, the song was originally written in 1905 by two white songwriters, lyricist Civilla D. Martin and composer Charles H. Gabriel. The song is most associated with actress-singer Ethel Waters who used the title for her autobiography.
40. Bites – a line from another “sparrow” song, “The Sparrow” by Charles Billingsley, performed frequently by my daughter, Amy Higginbotham.
41. “Dark is the stain that we cannot hide/what can avail to wash it away? Look there is flowing a Crimson Tide . . .” “Grace Greater than Our Sin” by Julia Johnson and Daniel Towner.
42. Just as the women found Jesus’ body was no longer there, Matt. 28:5-6; Mk. 16:6; Lk. 24:5; and Jn. 20:5-7.
43. Jn. 20:2.
Friday, December 10, 2010
The Christmas Tree- Return to Cheaha Mountain
“The Christmas Tree – Return to Cheaha Mountain”
John’s 30th Annual Christmas Poem
By John R. Wible
December 25, 2010
1957, a simpler time: Sputnik had not yet flown, no one possessed a cell phone or IPad and Elvis had just hit the big time; And Val’s biggest worry was making an “A” on next week’s spelling test right before the Christmas holidays. Val almost always made “A’s” in spelling and in fact in most all his second grade subjects. It seemed to be an expectation, a “must do.” Failure was not an option and making less than an “A” was a failure. If Val failed, he would be left alone he felt - alone like he felt when his mother deserted him in the ladies lingerie section of Loveman’s; or alone like the time the school bus left him because he was seconds late; or alone like he felt when he found no one at the church and believed that the Rapture of the Church had come and he had been left behind.
Perhaps, he felt like a failure and alone because his classmates ostracized him just because he was who he was. Val never forgot those feelings of failure and “aloneness,” and Val did not like to be left alone.
On the other hand, above all other people, Val loved and idolized his father, Cecil. Cecil never seemed to place expectations on Val and never seemed to show disappointment when Val didn’t live up to the expectations that were placed on him.
But all of that was left behind today, because today was special day. Val and Cecil were going up beautiful Mount Cheaha, as they had done for as long as Val could remember, to get the family Christmas tree. They drove the windy gravel road until it became a narrow dirt road and finally ended in a clearing, an island of sunlight amidst the hovering sassafras, hawthorn, and river birch and of course, pine trees at the opening of a great wood. In that wood, somewhere Val knew was “their” Christmas tree.
This was a special day of the year for Val, a gift, if you will, from Cecil to him – not so much the gift of the Christmas tree or of the presents that would be placed under the Christmas tree, but the gift of the time that Cecil spent with Val in this shared enterprise. The day always made Val feel “special;” And Val needed to feel “special.”
They parked the black over white Bel Air with black wall tires, no air conditioner and no radio; got a bow saw and some ropes in a gunny sack out of the trunk; and began their tireless trek into the wild and wondrous wood. Cecil told Val, “Be careful where you are walking, the snakes are still crawling even at this elevation of the mountain.”
The very mention of snakes raised the hair on the back of Val’s neck, for more than being left alone, he feared snakes. But as they walked deeper and deeper into the wood, climbing ever higher and higher, Val became easier and the “snake warning” became less of a sting to his young mind.
Travelling now deeply into the wood, they searched for the “perfect” tree and in a sunlit clearing, they saw it, the most beautiful Virginia pine tree that Val had ever seen.
Cecil opened the gunny sack carrying the ropes and bow saw, got out the saw and began to first clear from around its base of the underbrush and then began to cut the tree. “Schree-scraw, schree-scraw, schree-scraw,” went the saw making the familiar cutting noise that was one of the pleasing sounds of the adventure to which Val always looked forward until “crack, thwish, thud,” it sounded as it toppled to the straw-covered mat, the floor of the wood.
“Hand me the rope and we’ll tie it on ‘er and pull ‘er out,” ordered Cecil to Val as the first and most exciting part of the job was now complete. But, as Val reached his hand into the sack to retrieve the rope, Cecil suddenly spoke in an ominous and entirely different tone of voice – loud and direct - calm, yet with a sense of urgency. “Don’t move.” Val let loose of the sack and turned his head toward Cecil and said, “What, Daddy?” And at that instant, a coiled rattlesnake moved toward Val.
Time moved in slow motion for Val as he saw with one eye the snake flying straight as an arrow toward him and with the other, Cecil stretching out between Val and the snake. In mid-air, Cecil caught the snake by the neck and they both fell to the straw covered mat. The snake began to coil itself around Cecil, striking him again and again and again.
Time now stopped, rational thought ended and fantasy took flight for Val. In his seven-year olds mind’s eye, he saw Cecil and the snake rolling around on the ground locked in mortal combat which must have lasted for hours in this time-frozen state of mind. As Val seemed to gain the upper hand with the snake, the creature began to grow larger and larger until it became a huge black dragon with gold tipped wings and an arrow shaped tail.
Undaunted, Cecil maintained his death grip about the reptile’s neck and squeezed until with a “crack,” the neck was broken. In Val’s mind, it was as though the dragon deflated and became snaked-sized again and lay lifeless upon the mat. Cecil slumped beside it – himself mortally wounded.
A sudden wave of guilt passed over Val as he realized that his father was mortally wounded because Val had not followed his instruction. Val had failed once again and this time his failure had killed his father. Cecil looked up at Val and painfully yet with certainty, put his arm around his shaken son. “Daddy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t do what you said,” cried Val with tears of fear and remorse. “I forgive you, son, never think of it again,” said Cecil in a tone of assurance that Val had never heard quite so definitely before. As Cecil held Val in his arms, Val felt safe and secure once again. Cecil’s voice grew more hushed. “Don’t be afraid, son, I’ll always be with you and I’ll always protect you. Nothing can ever harm you if you stay close to me.” And then he smiled lovingly and lay back onto the tree upon which he had fallen.
As he lay back on the tree, in Val’s mind’s eye, he say Cecil’s spirit rise from him, a benevolent spirit which came over to him and held him in his arms just the way Cecil had done. And Cecil’s spirit said, “Come with me, I want to show you something.” So Val un-kneeled and walked with Cecil’s spirit just as he had walked with Cecil before. And he felt the same warmth and love that he had always felt. The Spirit said, “Son, we will have many rough places to go and hills and mountains to climb but I will guide you and uphold you and you will never need to be afraid or feel guilty or alone.”
They walked on through the wood climbing ever higher and higher. Eventually, they descended slightly to Pulpit Rock. Val looked down at the verdant valley below. The Spirit said as he pointed, “All of this valley is yours because it is mine and you are my son and heir. But more importantly, all of the people in the valley are your people. Love them as I love you.”
Beside Pulpit rock is the ruin of an old church. They climbed the still remaining great stone and masonry steps through medieval-looking arches – all which remained of what was once a great pinhoti cathedral. The ceiling now was the blinding blue canopy of the late fall sky and the floor, the vast valley below. This was the precipice, the point of no return, the end … perhaps. The Spirit said, “I’ve got to go now, but I will always be with you and I will always love you, my son. Never be afraid.” Then the Spirit disappeared.
Val stood and took in the scene for a long time for there was a lot to take in and on many different, but related levels. His thoughts turned to how once again his failure has caused him to be left alone. However, his attention was diverted by a flight of sparrows beginning to search for their evening bites, and he was reminded of the words of the old song, “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.” Then following along behind the sparrows, he saw forever circling the red-tailed hawk and he remembered Cecil’s words, “I forgive you.” In that moment, Val felt both forgiven and unforsaken – no longer alone.
As the silky shadows of evening began to rise up the craggy crest of the Great Mountain, Val knew it was time to go. Retracing his steps, Val began his descent to find Cecil’s body, still lying upon the tree of sacrifice, his blood still dripping on its branches like Crimson-coloured ornaments. He wondered what he would do with that body. Back through the arches, back by Pulpit Rock, down the wooded path Cecil trudged, tiredness now beginning to set in on his little frame.
Finally he reached the clearing where Cecil’s body had fallen onto the Christmas tree. But hurrying over to the site, he discovered that the body was no longer there. He looked around for signs of where someone else may have taken the body, but finding none, he realized that somehow, his Heavenly Father had taken care of Cecil as Cecil had promised to take care of Val.
What he did see however, was some of Cecil’s still-present blood hanging from the myriad of branches of the Christmas tree like those Crimson-coloured ornaments that he had imagined at the top of the mountain. “How fitting,” he thought, “that Cecil, who gave his life for me left some of his blood to remember him by and left me this Christmas tree upon which he once had lain.” It was not the Christmas tree that was the gift to him but what the blood-formed ornaments meant that was the Christmas gift to Val.
. . .
Though now it is no longer 1957 and life and circumstances have grown much more complex, man has walked upon the face of the moon and passed into history, everyone has a cell phone or an IPad and Elvis has left the building years ago, Val still remembers that fateful Christmas in 1957 when he learned that his failures and shortcomings, both real and imagined, were forgiven and that he would never again be alone.
Now, I can’t think of a better Christmas gift . . . can you?
. . .
Here’s wishing you a happy and forgiven Christmas.
John R. Wible
For an annotated version and the vision from which this was taken, see: HTTP://johnwible.blogspot.com
A colour copy is also available is John’s downloads at: http://www.slideshare.net/jwible/
John’s 30th Annual Christmas Poem
By John R. Wible
December 25, 2010
1957, a simpler time: Sputnik had not yet flown, no one possessed a cell phone or IPad and Elvis had just hit the big time; And Val’s biggest worry was making an “A” on next week’s spelling test right before the Christmas holidays. Val almost always made “A’s” in spelling and in fact in most all his second grade subjects. It seemed to be an expectation, a “must do.” Failure was not an option and making less than an “A” was a failure. If Val failed, he would be left alone he felt - alone like he felt when his mother deserted him in the ladies lingerie section of Loveman’s; or alone like the time the school bus left him because he was seconds late; or alone like he felt when he found no one at the church and believed that the Rapture of the Church had come and he had been left behind.
Perhaps, he felt like a failure and alone because his classmates ostracized him just because he was who he was. Val never forgot those feelings of failure and “aloneness,” and Val did not like to be left alone.
On the other hand, above all other people, Val loved and idolized his father, Cecil. Cecil never seemed to place expectations on Val and never seemed to show disappointment when Val didn’t live up to the expectations that were placed on him.
But all of that was left behind today, because today was special day. Val and Cecil were going up beautiful Mount Cheaha, as they had done for as long as Val could remember, to get the family Christmas tree. They drove the windy gravel road until it became a narrow dirt road and finally ended in a clearing, an island of sunlight amidst the hovering sassafras, hawthorn, and river birch and of course, pine trees at the opening of a great wood. In that wood, somewhere Val knew was “their” Christmas tree.
This was a special day of the year for Val, a gift, if you will, from Cecil to him – not so much the gift of the Christmas tree or of the presents that would be placed under the Christmas tree, but the gift of the time that Cecil spent with Val in this shared enterprise. The day always made Val feel “special;” And Val needed to feel “special.”
They parked the black over white Bel Air with black wall tires, no air conditioner and no radio; got a bow saw and some ropes in a gunny sack out of the trunk; and began their tireless trek into the wild and wondrous wood. Cecil told Val, “Be careful where you are walking, the snakes are still crawling even at this elevation of the mountain.”
The very mention of snakes raised the hair on the back of Val’s neck, for more than being left alone, he feared snakes. But as they walked deeper and deeper into the wood, climbing ever higher and higher, Val became easier and the “snake warning” became less of a sting to his young mind.
Travelling now deeply into the wood, they searched for the “perfect” tree and in a sunlit clearing, they saw it, the most beautiful Virginia pine tree that Val had ever seen.
Cecil opened the gunny sack carrying the ropes and bow saw, got out the saw and began to first clear from around its base of the underbrush and then began to cut the tree. “Schree-scraw, schree-scraw, schree-scraw,” went the saw making the familiar cutting noise that was one of the pleasing sounds of the adventure to which Val always looked forward until “crack, thwish, thud,” it sounded as it toppled to the straw-covered mat, the floor of the wood.
“Hand me the rope and we’ll tie it on ‘er and pull ‘er out,” ordered Cecil to Val as the first and most exciting part of the job was now complete. But, as Val reached his hand into the sack to retrieve the rope, Cecil suddenly spoke in an ominous and entirely different tone of voice – loud and direct - calm, yet with a sense of urgency. “Don’t move.” Val let loose of the sack and turned his head toward Cecil and said, “What, Daddy?” And at that instant, a coiled rattlesnake moved toward Val.
Time moved in slow motion for Val as he saw with one eye the snake flying straight as an arrow toward him and with the other, Cecil stretching out between Val and the snake. In mid-air, Cecil caught the snake by the neck and they both fell to the straw covered mat. The snake began to coil itself around Cecil, striking him again and again and again.
Time now stopped, rational thought ended and fantasy took flight for Val. In his seven-year olds mind’s eye, he saw Cecil and the snake rolling around on the ground locked in mortal combat which must have lasted for hours in this time-frozen state of mind. As Val seemed to gain the upper hand with the snake, the creature began to grow larger and larger until it became a huge black dragon with gold tipped wings and an arrow shaped tail.
Undaunted, Cecil maintained his death grip about the reptile’s neck and squeezed until with a “crack,” the neck was broken. In Val’s mind, it was as though the dragon deflated and became snaked-sized again and lay lifeless upon the mat. Cecil slumped beside it – himself mortally wounded.
A sudden wave of guilt passed over Val as he realized that his father was mortally wounded because Val had not followed his instruction. Val had failed once again and this time his failure had killed his father. Cecil looked up at Val and painfully yet with certainty, put his arm around his shaken son. “Daddy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t do what you said,” cried Val with tears of fear and remorse. “I forgive you, son, never think of it again,” said Cecil in a tone of assurance that Val had never heard quite so definitely before. As Cecil held Val in his arms, Val felt safe and secure once again. Cecil’s voice grew more hushed. “Don’t be afraid, son, I’ll always be with you and I’ll always protect you. Nothing can ever harm you if you stay close to me.” And then he smiled lovingly and lay back onto the tree upon which he had fallen.
As he lay back on the tree, in Val’s mind’s eye, he say Cecil’s spirit rise from him, a benevolent spirit which came over to him and held him in his arms just the way Cecil had done. And Cecil’s spirit said, “Come with me, I want to show you something.” So Val un-kneeled and walked with Cecil’s spirit just as he had walked with Cecil before. And he felt the same warmth and love that he had always felt. The Spirit said, “Son, we will have many rough places to go and hills and mountains to climb but I will guide you and uphold you and you will never need to be afraid or feel guilty or alone.”
They walked on through the wood climbing ever higher and higher. Eventually, they descended slightly to Pulpit Rock. Val looked down at the verdant valley below. The Spirit said as he pointed, “All of this valley is yours because it is mine and you are my son and heir. But more importantly, all of the people in the valley are your people. Love them as I love you.”
Beside Pulpit rock is the ruin of an old church. They climbed the still remaining great stone and masonry steps through medieval-looking arches – all which remained of what was once a great pinhoti cathedral. The ceiling now was the blinding blue canopy of the late fall sky and the floor, the vast valley below. This was the precipice, the point of no return, the end … perhaps. The Spirit said, “I’ve got to go now, but I will always be with you and I will always love you, my son. Never be afraid.” Then the Spirit disappeared.
Val stood and took in the scene for a long time for there was a lot to take in and on many different, but related levels. His thoughts turned to how once again his failure has caused him to be left alone. However, his attention was diverted by a flight of sparrows beginning to search for their evening bites, and he was reminded of the words of the old song, “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.” Then following along behind the sparrows, he saw forever circling the red-tailed hawk and he remembered Cecil’s words, “I forgive you.” In that moment, Val felt both forgiven and unforsaken – no longer alone.
As the silky shadows of evening began to rise up the craggy crest of the Great Mountain, Val knew it was time to go. Retracing his steps, Val began his descent to find Cecil’s body, still lying upon the tree of sacrifice, his blood still dripping on its branches like Crimson-coloured ornaments. He wondered what he would do with that body. Back through the arches, back by Pulpit Rock, down the wooded path Cecil trudged, tiredness now beginning to set in on his little frame.
Finally he reached the clearing where Cecil’s body had fallen onto the Christmas tree. But hurrying over to the site, he discovered that the body was no longer there. He looked around for signs of where someone else may have taken the body, but finding none, he realized that somehow, his Heavenly Father had taken care of Cecil as Cecil had promised to take care of Val.
What he did see however, was some of Cecil’s still-present blood hanging from the myriad of branches of the Christmas tree like those Crimson-coloured ornaments that he had imagined at the top of the mountain. “How fitting,” he thought, “that Cecil, who gave his life for me left some of his blood to remember him by and left me this Christmas tree upon which he once had lain.” It was not the Christmas tree that was the gift to him but what the blood-formed ornaments meant that was the Christmas gift to Val.
. . .
Though now it is no longer 1957 and life and circumstances have grown much more complex, man has walked upon the face of the moon and passed into history, everyone has a cell phone or an IPad and Elvis has left the building years ago, Val still remembers that fateful Christmas in 1957 when he learned that his failures and shortcomings, both real and imagined, were forgiven and that he would never again be alone.
Now, I can’t think of a better Christmas gift . . . can you?
. . .
Here’s wishing you a happy and forgiven Christmas.
John R. Wible
For an annotated version and the vision from which this was taken, see: HTTP://johnwible.blogspot.com
A colour copy is also available is John’s downloads at: http://www.slideshare.net/jwible/
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